Ufff what a year! Everyone can agree that 2020 came with a lot of challenges and we all had to adapt one way or another. There were challenging times, but I am extremely thankful that things worked out at the end.
In 2019, I made a conscious decision to not set goals, resolutions or agenda. I wanted to start the year without pressure of the “must do’s” and “should do’s” that sometimes tend to rule our lives. After years of embracing the hustle and the “work hard or go home”, I was tired and in need of finding myself and what truly makes me whole.
And that is what I tried to do for the whole 2020 year and it was sooo fucking hard.. Rest should feel easy, no? But it doesn’t. For me, burying myself with work, being frantic and on the go-go move feels more comfortable than sitting in the couch watching a show. For years, I let my work, career, and goals define my worth. If I wasn’t doing good at work or meeting my goals, who was I?
While I began the year with this new intention, it was easier said than done. I quickly got myself into a very stressful situation while juggling life, my job and two businesses.
In February 2020 came the bigger lesson, I had a miscarriage. I was devastated and I blamed myself because instead of slowing down, I went back into old habits. Now, I know that there was nothing I could do, but it was an eye opening experience.
Then COVID happened and if you’ve read my other blog posts, you know how that went.
If I had to describe my 2020 in a few words, it would be mental breakdowns and personal growth. I am a true believer that things happen for a reason and while it took a while, I finally see the light.
I have to thank Brooke Monaghan for shedding this light.
Brooke is a business coach, but more like a life coach to me. I hired her to help me put systems in place so that I could juggle real estate business, my accounting practice, day job and life. So much for slowing down, right?
However, working with Brooke made me realize that I didn’t need systems, instead I needed to realign my goals with the life that I truly desired. I had been working on things that didn’t bring me joy anymore and holding back on what I really wanted to do in fear of what people would think of me. I began by making small changes. I stopped taking new work projects and eliminating work that didn’t align with my goals anymore. Then, shifted to doing nothing or doing things that I enjoyed. It was actually because of her that I finally decided to start this blog!
Fast forward to December and I am finally SLOWING DOWN and taking care of ME.
I am not working weekends, I don’t work late, I am exercising again, eating healthy, going on weekend hiking trips, trying out Yoga, and exploring other hobbies like jumping rope. I am finally prioritizing my health and well being over work. I am finding the real me.
Of course, this is a work in progress. There is still a little voice in my head that tells me I should be hustling, taking things to the next level and making aggressive goals, but that’s part of the process. Let’s just say I am a recovering workaholic.
Looking back, was I really ready to bring a baby into this world? We will never know, but what I do know is that I wasn’t taking care of myself physically or emotionally. I was a train wreck. I think the universe was trying to send me a message.
2021 will be a better year and I trust that the universe and God will bless me with a baby when the time is right 😊.
What about you? What lesson did you learn in 2020?
Whatever hardships you had in 2020, I am sending love and positive vibes your way. 💕Let’s do this and jump into the new year like…
Thanks for reading and Happy New Year!